The old saying goes, “Don’t mess with the people that prepare your food.” This also goes for the people who prepare your drinks. Your average waiter has to deal with annoying and idiot customers, but bartenders get the extra bonus of dealing with drunk idiot customers. There’s a difference.
Want to ensure slow service, short pours, and cold shoulders? Use any of the below and you will certainly be well on your way. Some may just result in an eye roll, others will give you a bad rep, and you’ll suffer the bad service. Remember: these are the people that are between you and your booze, the worse of a customer you are, the slower the service you’re going to get.
To avoid being “that” customer at the bar, follow the 10 Commandments.
X. Thou Shalt Not Window Shop.
If you walk into a bar, at least stop and buy something. If you’re waiting on a group, stick around and see if they show up. If you don’t like the feel of the place, don’t go in. While you may not get retribution right then, this minor annoyance will generally brand you negatively later on down the line. Not to mention if it’s slow and you stick around, you may get the benefit of a long pour or extra attention from the service staff.
IX. The Bartender Isn’t Thine “Buddy”…
…and he’s not your Skip, Ace, Garçon, or Barkeep. The waitress isn’t Honey, Sweetie, Doll or any other name that you can come up with. If you need to get the waitress’s or bartender’s attention, don’t resort to these demeaning names, it will send chills of anger up their spines and ensure that you get a bad pour.
If you want to order another round, don’t just shout “Hey you!” If you’re a regular or been at the bar for a while, the act of simply raising the glass to eye level and making eye contact with the bartender generally will be sufficient. If not, former bartender Marcus suggests “Make eye contact and say, ‘Excuse me, when you have a chance…’ If they don’t suck then they will say ‘Another so-and-so?’ which gives you the chance to change drinks if you want to.”
None of this is a reason for not learning your server’s name, especially if they’re wearing a nametag. Even if they’re not a simple “Excuse me, what’s your name…” will suffice.
Oh, and never snap your fingers.
VIII. Thou Shalt Not Take Drinks Off of the Tray.
Easily one of the bigger bar faux pas: Don’t touch the tray. Serving a tray full of drinks is already a delicate balancing act, so don’t make things more difficult by shifting the weight of the tray without the server’s knowledge or consent. You may think you’re being polite and easy, but all you’re really being is a huge pain in the ass. Once a drink is removed from the tray and the waiter is reaching to hand it to you, reach over and take the drink, yes, but never ever touch the tray.
VII. Thou Shalt Gauge Thine Server.
When it comes to conversation, not every waitress or bartender is created equal. Some are engaging and love to banter while others have had a crappy night and just want to get out of their job with as little harassment as possible.
If you as the customer feel like chatting up your server, get a feel of how they’re going to react. If after a few attempts to converse they’re not having any of it, give up and don’t keep forcing the issue. This rule bodes especially true if they’re slammed on a busy weekend night. Don’t keep trying to chat up your server when they’re five deep on tables and are backing up. That’s the bad time to ask “How are you doing?” or regale your bartender with the same story you’ve told three times over the course of eight scotches. Bartender Andrew gives a good rule of thumb saying “When I walk away, stop talking to me.”
VI. Thou Shalt Not Treat the World as Thine Ashtray.
Repeat after me: “Floors are for feet, ashtrays are for ashes.” This goes double for the plants and especially for the glasses. If you’re a smoker, it’s not that difficult to ask for and use an ashtray. Any time you put out a butt on the floor, that’s extra time that the server will have to spend after you leave scrubbing to get the burn mark off the floor, table, or where ever you decided to deposit your remnants.
V. Thou Shalt Not Treat the Bar as Thine House.
While you may lounge around with your feet propped up on the couch while you watch the game, don’t do it at the bar. Keep your feet off of the furniture, and for God’s sake keep your shoes on. Mostly for the bar’s benefit, but also for yours, think of the feet of others that have been on there all evening.
Also, while the couches at your local watering hole may be especially comfy, resist the urge to lie down. Waitress Elyse explains, “If you’re lying down, we have to assume you’re intoxicated. Which means you’re going to get cut off at the minimum, and possibly tossed out.”
IV. Thou Shalt Not Ask For Hookups.
Folks, don’t feel you’re entitled to free stuff just because it’s your birthday. Bottom line, the bar is a place of business they’re not there to give away their merchandise. Once you’re out of the sorority and not in the shot bar, the “free birthday shot” train generally comes to a screeching halt.
Elyse instructs “If it’s your birthday or you just got engaged, casually mention it to me. I can’t authorize free drinks, but if you’ve been a good customer a free shot or bottle of champagne may somehow find its way to your table.”
While out-and-out trying to get the hookup with a free drink is obviously frowned upon, don’t try to scam your way into free stuff either. Don’t ask to just “top that drink off” or ask for a double when you ordered a single. Bottom line, if you want long pours, free drinks or any of the other perks, just be a good customer and don’t expect it. Just because you’re a regular at the place doesn’t mean you own it.
III. Thou Shalt Not Be Difficult.
This is fairly all-encompassing and vague, but don’t worry, we’ll get to the specifics. Difficult customers are the banes of servers’ existence. They come in all forms, but they will all drive bartenders batty.
When you’re at a bar, get a feel for how busy your servers are. If they’re flying around, their goal is to turn over as many drinks as possible as quickly as possible. Don’t order a split drink (Jager Bomb, Flaming Dr. Pepper, Irish Car Bomb, etc.) or a layered shot (Buttery Nipple, Sex With an Alligator, etc.) and expect prompt service. Those drinks take time to prepare or take up a lot of valuable tray real estate to bring out. You have two choices: be patient, or stick with the quick shot standbys.
When the bar is four people deep, order as a group and have your money ready. Don’t walk up to the bar, order a drink, then wait for it to be done before ordering another. Any bartender worth their salt will be able to remember any number of drinks that you’re going to order simultaneously, and when it’s busy the last thing they want to hear is the “and, a… ummmm… a….” stammering ordering for your buddies. While you stutter, other people are waiting. While you add on to your order, other people are waiting. While you’re fishing for your cash or credit card, other people are waiting. Get it?
Don’t fake clap when a server drops a tray. They’re already mortified as it is, and they don’t need any more humiliation.
CREDIT: http://www.clubplanet.com/articles/1464/the-10-commandments-of-nightlife-etiquette
